


The Jewel Thief and the Bandit

by overunderachiever



Series: Soulmate September 2020 [22]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Battle Couple, Couple goals, Heist, I did not know that was a tag, Janus is a jewel theif, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Power Couple, Remus was just trying to help, apparently I am now a member of the "janus is short" crowd, apparently not a tag???, but mostly this is just caotic, janus is a simp, janus is also very strong though, just remus level stuff, remus is a simp, sexual innuendo, when you close your eyes you see what your soulmate sees, who isn't a simp tho?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:28:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26542942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overunderachiever/pseuds/overunderachiever
Summary: Janus was just trying to steal a diamond when he was rudely interrupted and it only got worse from there (or maybe it got better)
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: Soulmate September 2020 [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1872199
Comments: 8
Kudos: 100





	The Jewel Thief and the Bandit

**Author's Note:**

> See, I had this plan of them carrying out a heist together like a well oiled machine and then I sat down to write and my brain was like wRitE THeiR mEEtiNg ScENe InSTeaD! And once I was about to post it my brain went bUT ThEY hAVeN'T KissED YeT! And so this happened. Good grief.

Janus's brow was furrowed in concentration as he carefully removed the last screw in the code panel and lifted the font off. Now for the really tricky bit, especially as he knew it wouldn't be long before the security cameras were checked again and the alarm would be sounded.

With the skill of a doctor performing surgery on a grape, he began to cut wires, quick and precise, and then holding a few of the exposed ends together to short-circuit the thing. In a matter of seconds there was a quiet pop and a tiny shower of sparks and the lock swung open.

Only once Janus was sure he'd be able to got in and out of the vault without the door swinging shut and locking him in, did he press the button on his belt to make the wire extend again and lower him the rest of the way to the floor. He unhooked himself from the wire, hands shaking just slightly as he made sure it wouldn't spring back up before he returned.

For a few moments, Janus shut his eyes to try and calm himself. He was far from successful as he got the mental image of holding a pneumatic drill and a very large axe. What on earth was his soulmate doing? Whoever it was often did things like that and Janus was beginning to think they might be a serial killer. It wasn't that he particularly cared what his soulmate was doing, he just wished the wouldn't do it when Janus was trying to steal a very precious diamond.

He sighed and opened his eyes again, turning towards the vault door and carefully sliding between the lasers that ran vertically down the opening.

Not for the first time in his career, Janus thanked the heavens for his small size. He'd been bullied for his height and scrawniness in school but oh if those kids could see him now, one of the most elusive jewel thieves in the world, and certainly the one with the best style.

Some might say the black leather catsuit was cliche but it really was the most practical thing to wear for heists like this. (The black bowler hat and yellow detailing on the seams were just for show though.)

Janus was just passing through the last wall of lasers when a sudden loud noise startled him. Years of practice meant he didn't even wobble but his heart rate jumped up in his chest, adrenaline shooting down every nerve. It took a second for him to work out what the noise was - that rhythmic drilling and crashing on the other side of the vault - before the wall started to crumble away.

Light flooded in and Janus got a glimpse of someone holding some sort of power tool before there was a sudden shrill noise as the alarm went off.

"Shit!"

An emergency door was closing down behind him making his only escape the hole in the wall that the other person was standing by. As the dust from the power drill cleared, Janus could see who it was.

A man with wild hair and wild eyes and a ratty moustache dressed in the most cliche burglar outfit imaginable - full on striped shirt, black eye mask, bag with the word SWAG on it. It was even worse than Janus' classic cat burglar get-up. It drove every single thought from Janus' mind except for Rage.

"What the _hell_ are you trying to do?" He shrieked at the man, marching round the case in the middle of the room that contained the diamond, over to him. He was about a head shorter than the other, and wasn't holding any sort of weapon, but in the moment he didn't care. "Its _oh_ so _incredibly_ helpful for you to show up _right_ when I'm about to steal this diamond. I don't mind you treading on my turf _at_ _all_ , why would I? You don't need to worry _at_ _all_ that if we're caught I will make sure you have hell to pay!"

The man looked mildly terrified despite the fact that Janus was four foot five and skinny, while he was over six foot and muscular and also holding an axe.

"Wow short angry people really are scary!"

Janus screamed in frustration, gripping his hair in both hands and closing his eyes to try and clam himself down. He needed to think. Think.

All he got was the sight of himself tearing his hair out-

_What the fuck?_

"Say, what's all the leather for, sexy? You gonna punish me?" The man cackled hysterically but Janus barely heard any of it.

He turned to look at the other man and close his eyes.

_His own stricken face and closed eyes._

Opened them again. A man in a striped shirt and black eye mask. Closed them.

_His own face._

Janus' eyes flew open and he stared at the man who could only be his soulmate who was still _grinning_ at him.

"I'm Remus! And we're soulmates! I saw you were trying to break in here so I thought I'd help out. Isn't it wonderful! We can be famous burglars together!"

"No it is absolutely _not_ wonderful! We need to get out of here right _now!_ " Janus knew he had to give up on the diamond and the equipment he'd left on the other side of the vault door. He grabbed Remus' arm and pulled him towards the opening, out into the night air. The alarm was still screaming at them as they took off into the night, Janus hoping and praying they had enough of a head start to get away.

Honestly the security at that place was terrible, but Janus wasn't about to complain.

As one, he and Remus threw themselves into the waiting car that Janus assumed must have belonged to his soulmate. Remus took off, speeding down the road with surprising skill, and the sirens faded into the distance.

Gradually the adrenaline began to wear off and Janus could think straight again. It was then that he realised Remus seemed strangely quiet. Of course, Janus had only just met him, but in a way he felt like he'd known the other man all his life.

"Are you alright Remus?"

"What? Oh yeah, I'm fine! Always am!"

The forced cheerfulness did nothing to reassure Janus.

"Oh yeah. _Truly_ spoken like someone who is _perfectly_ happy."

There was a pause, then... "Did I ruin everything?" Remus asked in a very small voice.

"What? Oh not really. It's fine, I was only angry cause I was scared we'd get caught."

"But you didn't get the diamond?" His voice was still very small and Janus got the overwhelming urge to make sure Remus never sounded that sad ever again.

"Remus, I am an internationally renowned jewel thief. I don't need one measly diamond - it wasn't even that big! I'm much gladder that a) you came prepared with an escape vehicle and b) I can now make sure you actually aren't a serial killer."

Remus snickered at that last bit. "If I were a serial killer I don't think a pipsqueak like you would be able to stop me."

"I have a back belt in three different styles of martial arts." Janus deadpanned.

Remus looked surprised for a moment then grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. "Kinky~"

And with that Janus lost his composure, laughing along with Remus even as his face went bright red and his heart pounded faster.

\-----

Janus gave an internal cheer of triumph as the case door swung open, and he quickly shut his eyes to check on Remus.

He got a glimpse of a morningstar flashing in and out of his vision as Remus smashed windows on the other side of the building. There were some blue flashing lights before Remus was jumping onto a car and swinging himself up to hang off the side of the building. Janus could see the police car swing into the alley Remus was in and he knew this was his cue.

Opening his eyes, Janus reached into the case with a steady hand, sliding right between where he knew the invisible lasers were. The security on this jewellery case was almost airtight, it had to be given how much the diamond tiara was worth, but it still wasn't strong enough to keep _him_ out.

Janus smirked as his hand closed around the tiara. It was now or never.

He pulled it out the case as fast as lightning, knowing this would have instantly set off the silent alarm. He wasted no time in darting back to the hole in the skylight, no longer worrying about breaking lasers - they already knew he was here.

He gripped the wire harness suspended from the ceiling and pressed the button that had him shooting up and out onto the roof in moments, the tiara safely stowed in his bag.

The equipment was gathered and tucked in his bag almost as quickly and then Janus was off, running silently across the roof tops to where Remus was still keeping the police distracted. Remus knew he was coming before he'd even arrived - that was the perk of being soulmates - and all Janus had to do was reach an arm down as he ran across the end of the alleyway and Remus was grabbing hold.

Janus pulled him up onto the rooftop alongside him with ease, barely breaking his stride, leaving the cops yelling in confusion on the ground below.

"Have I ever told you how sexy it is that you can throw me around like that?" Remus giggled.

Janus rolled his eyes. "Only every time we do that particular manoeuvre."

"Just making sure you remember~"

Janus could practically hear the eyebrow wiggle and was very glad that his snakeskin mask hid his blush so well.

They were still holding hands as they ran, sliding down a fire escape and ducking into the basement of the building across the road that they left unlocked before they started this heist.

They sauntered calmly out the other side, still holding hands but looking completely different. Janus had taken off the mask and turned his jacket the other way out so it was bright yellow instead. Remus' hideous fake moustache was gone and his own flamboyantly green and black jacket was now being used to cover his Morningstar, held carefully over it so the spikes wouldn't rip the fabric. They looked like two perfectly normal people out for a late night stroll, rather than famed criminal masterminds.

After heists like this is was Janus who drove the car. Remus would take much longer to come down from the adrenaline and so would often drive too fast and recklessly when they didn't want to draw attention to themselves. His style was much more useful for a quick getaway but that wasn't what they needed tonight.

Janus preferred heights like this, when they could sit calmly at stoplights and he could look over at his soulmate, so strangely beautiful in the red glow - all wild hair and eyes, and cheerful grin, and that ever-present look of wonder.

This time Remus noticed him staring. "Whatcha lookin' at, double D?"

"Am I not allowed to admire my husband?"

"I'd rather you admire me with other body parts~" Remus wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Janus obliged, grabbing a fistful of his soulmate's tank top, pulling him in and kissing him thoroughly.

The light turned to green, and then back to red again before they broke apart, Janus practically in Remus' lap. Remus gave him another quick, sloppy kiss before releasing him so he could turn back to the wheel. The light went green again and they sped away into the night, breathless and triumphant.

Ten years on and still kicking the worlds' ass.

~~*~~

**Author's Note:**

> Hey thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this fever dream, I was...mildly sleep deprived when I wrote this.


End file.
